[you can watch the recording from ASEEES 2023 Presidential Planery: Decolonization in Practice (2023) here]
DO NOT DESPAIR
a letter to a
scholar whose homeland will be attacked by Russia next
dear friend and fellow scholar,
Russia invaded your homeland, like it invaded mine in 2014
when Russia escalated its war to a full-scale invasion of Ukraine
i started my path as an early career scholar in 2022
i am writing this letter to you
about future epistemic trajectories you will encounter
in that never-ending your first year of the full-scale invasion
as the missiles will hit your hometown
you will wake up to the world that suddenly discovered your homeland
the academic field within which you always felt out of place
will suddenly develop a sharp interest in your homeland
the institutions that previously turned you down
and found your research interests too niche
and not relevant to the wider region or bigger agenda
will suddenly start inviting you to speak at the events
platforming your homeland
you will embrace these steps
finally, after so many years of marginalisation, you will feel
heard
and you will use your every opportunity to scream, to speak up
the war will colour everything for you
and everything will become a matter of life or death, no less
scholarship will become an existential affair
remember this is not the case for everyone
and they will gently remind you about it
they will mention “objectivity” “academic rigorous”
if you do not conform
behind your back they will say: too traumatised
too traumatised to be a rigorous scholar
they will try to allocate you to a safe place in the system
this safe place is a “personal story”
sometimes they will need you to come and speak
from that “personal” space, on their terms
“the local voices” section
but you, you must always remind them
that you are a scholar
that your pursuit is epistemic
because knowledge is not disembodied
knowledge does not exist outside the passion of life
use the space given to you to speak up
as this won’t last long
and it won’t always be yours
academia will talk about decolonisation
it will talk about it all the time
but with the exception of the few
it will not talk about your father, brothers, sisters, friends
those in cold trenches, decolonising through de-occupation
that will not be epistemic enough to be discussed
you will make new colleagues, new friends
those who will stand by you
those who will push for change together with you
but good intentions of the few
do not mean the realistic possibility of the redistribution of
material resources
addressing the inequalities of knowledge production
the inequalities of survival
your survival
the survival of your people
institutions will tell you: we cannot fundraise for the military
we cannot fundraise for anything
but we can organise a poetry evening
ok, you will say
you will try to do both
to promote knowledge institutionally and to send donations
personally
you will not be satisfied with the addition of authors to the
curriculums
you will strive for action
strive to stop the violence on the ground
you will run in a dozen directions at once
trying to make sense
trying to survive
this will exhaust you
the changes in academia will seem exciting to you at first
all those events, statements, and even fellowships!
there will be so many fellowships to support displaced scholars
from your homeland
you have never seen so many scholars from your homeland in major institutions
in major conferences
even giving keynotes!
you will believe: here we are making change,
knowledge will never be the same
your homeland will be running on adrenaline of resistance
and you too will not be able to afford despair
despair means death
in that moment
do not forget that seeing scholars from your homeland in all the
major institutions is a morbid privilege
a morbid privilege for which people of your homeland paid with their
lives
and yes, it is a privilege
because the generosity of academia does not extend to all
massacres in the world
not even to all massacres in your region
remember how many other peoples were not granted this morbid
spotlight?
you will believe in the change with all your heart
like your homeland believes in its freedom
after all, academic institutions put so much effort into bringing
you here
bringing others, see, these are visible results!
remember you cannot afford despair
and you will become the change
you will organise seminars, public programmes
you will believe you can make people understand
you just need to create a platform where they can learn
so you will organise
you will try to fill the gap
and you will also speak at other events
incessantly
you will have the support of colleagues
those horrified by the violence
those questioning epistemic responsibility
but you will also notice
that other colleagues are either silent or uncomfortable
in your presence
or both
you remind them of the war
that ugly thing
that unpleasant disturbance
in your events
you will also notice the same questions
that one about russophobia
that one about cancelling Pushkin
you will wonder why people think these are most pressing questions
when every day you wake up to news about death, death, death
gradually you will also notice
that for your criticism of academic complicity
you will be framed as hysterical
as naïve
as unable to see the positive change, the results of decolonisation
this is how they will try to silence you
to disregard your critique
the war will go on
because Russia will not stop
because what Ukrainians, Syrians, Georgians, Chechens, and others knew about
it was true
everyone and everything back home will become exhausted
you will become exhausted
you will need to find a way to sustain your epistemic struggle
to sustain supporting those living through the war
you will apply for jobs
but almost all tenure-track jobs will be either in Russian or at
best in Russophone contexts
institutions change slowly, you will be told
be patient, you will be told
we are doing our best, you will be told
we brought you here, you will be told
you must look at the bright side, you will be told
any academic event you will go will be on decolonisation
everyone will be decolonising
yet the soldiers in trenches will continue to die daily
cities of your friends will remain occupied
the jobs in non-Russian languages and cultures will still be rare
it will become difficult to reconcile these two worlds
pretending that life goes on
and knowing that the end of the world already happened
how can you go on living like that?
how does everyone just carry on?
while you despair
others will retrain to be experts on your homeland overnight
they will obtain grants and embark on research projects
this will be a new academic goldrush
you will be the new academic goldrush
not you as a scholar, you as an object of study
you will feel conflicted
you will try to articulate concern
but you will be framed as ungrateful
as uncooperative
remember they always make you believe the problem is you
the war will gradually become normalised
Russian occupation will become normalised
the way the occupation of Georgia became normalised
does anyone even remember that today?
people will start conducting studies on the territories occupied
by Russia
remember? objectivity, academic rigour, nuance
nothing personal, nothing political
just the highest standards of knowledge
studies on the marginalisation of Russian scholars
Russian scholarship
will start to appear
the short-term fellowships will run out
one by one colleagues from your homeland will be taken by darkness
the darkness of precarity, the darkness of survival, the darkness
of the war
as the war will be normalised
as your people, your homeland will become exhausted
as survival will take up all your resources
they will put you in the corner
turn the page
decolonisation over
return to the status quo
until the next massacre